Last week, I was feeling stuck, not knowing how to go forward or what to say. It made me question whether I want to continue doing this blog. I am still trying to figure that out and recorded a whole “podcast” (loose term - I went for a walk on the beach and recorded a very noisy voice memo) explaining to myself and an imaginary audience why I’m stopping and how I might want my creative output to evolve. It’s here if you want to go on the walk with me.

In the meantime, I wanted to share something that felt more important - a message from unconditional love. This is a practice borrowed from author Elizabeth Gilbert where you ask “Love” (God, the Universe, your higher self, whatever works for you) what it wants you to know. If you’ve never done anything like this or your BS meter is going off, I couldn’t recommend it more. To get you out of your own head and seek input from an infinitely loving voice.

This is what it told me:

what i want you to know is that i love you. i love you when you try too hard. i love you when it all feels easy. i love you when you’re lost in your head. and i love you when you know exactly where you are. i love you in your wholeness, and your perceived brokenness. i love you no matter how it feels you are doing. i love you when you feel like you are fucking up. i love you when you are your biggest, brightest star, and when you’re afraid you’re too bright.

the love is never gone. but times like these, you struggle to feel it.

you think you have to crawl your way back to it because it feels far away. like you won’t get it unless you do this or you don’t do that. like you had it then you lost it. like it’s one step away or a million miles.

you can’t lose it. so you can’t win it back. it can’t be earned or taken away.

but i love you when you are so hard at work trying to figure it out and piece it together and do the right things. i love you when you give up and start over. i love you when you lose patience. i love you when you cry. i love you when you get angry. i love you just for being.

do you see? you can’t disappoint me. even when you disappoint yourself. even when you fall short of where you want to be. even when it feels like all hope is lost and there’s nowhere to go. even when you’re too tired to lift one single finger.

you can still trust yourself. you can still trust me. i trust you. forever.