I was planning a blog post about a time this week when I had to set down my expectations and get out of my own way…but something else came out instead, so I had to set down my expectations and get out of my own way. How appropriate. I ended up writing what I needed in that moment: something to help me get in the mood to create when I’m feeling uninspired or resistant. And so, here is my prayer to creativity. I hope it blesses you with a SPARK!

wherever i come from,

willing or…less,

an idea on my soul,

or nothing, just yet.

may the gods crowd around me

and fill up my chest.

may my heart be wide open

to inspiration’s breath.

let my mind be a servant

to gather, then rest,

to surrender its fears

and its thoughts of what’s “best.”

i’m lighting a candle

and making the bed,

so something more precious

can lay down instead.

i’m scattering petals,

a rainbow of colors,

so creativity knows

it belongs in these covers.

i’m singing sweet songs

to entice all the lovers.

to show them it’s safe,

i brought plenty of rubbers.

this is a place 

to be wild and free,

for everything silly 

and sacred to meet.

closing my eyes,

i bough to the tree.

i’m ready to give life

to what’s coming through me.

I don’t want to be any of these things,

the shards of someone else’s dreams. 

The rings on these fingers,

the bottles on the shelf, 

whether they used to be mine or they never were,

now they all look like chains.

Clothes that never quite fit

covering skin I no longer recognize.

All masking fear.

But fear can’t hide from love with patience.

And I’ve got time.

Have you heard of “mirror work?” You look at yourself in the mirror. I spent some time doing this yesterday, and it’s a doozy. I hate that word. Then why would I use it? It communicates the ridiculous challenge of practicing something that seems so self-indulgent, but is actually profound. Looking into your own eyes forces you to confront the humanity of the being in front of you. Yes, it will surface all your ego shit. But that’s just layers of identity built up around you to protect the precious life you’re carrying in your body. Communing with it forces you to find the path to love for that self. We often find less barriers to love for others - assuming they lack some fundamental flaw we think we have to hide, or that they are somehow more worthy. But that’s all just a story someone told us once that we’ve kept around. To keep us safe from rejection. Looking into your own eyes, you hold the keys to opening deeper parts of yourself and showing them they need not fear rejection. I am here. And I love you.