I’ve been thinking a lot about how I wake up in the morning. Sometimes, I’m energized and excited for the day. Other times, there’s no amount of snoozing that can satisfy me. As a socially anxious kid going to school, or when I had jobs I couldn’t stand, I’d wake up with enormous dread and anxiety. Some mornings, I still feel the echoes of those emotions. My body remembers waking up into a life I hated. Now, each day, I am practicing waking up gently and giving my body space to acclimate, ease the transition, and imprint how I want to live. Here’s a poem about that. It’s called “Breakfast.”
What do we feed ourselves
as we warm up to waking?
Consciousness flips on,
percolating like a coffee maker.
Bringing thoughts,
sensations,
emotions,
fears.
All surfacing
over the embers of fading dreams.
Observe the texture of this tender moment.
Sometimes, my skin has melted into the sheets.
Deliciousness seeps
into every pore.
Other times,
my mind is a slip ’n slide.
What seeks to be freed
comes barreling down that bright yellow stripe between death and life
like a kid on the first day of summer.
A vivid rebirth,
each time I open my eyes.
Just allow
each
cellular
stretch.
Go slow,
we’re remembering how to be alive.
We’re learning
and learning
how to gently awaken.
How to move
with respect
for the pilgrimage we’ve taken.
Rock me awake
like a lullaby, backwards.
Treat each crumbling eye crust like gold
from the mines of deep rest.
Let the body tell the story of where it’s been
and where it’s going.
Ask it softly,
What do you want to eat?
What do you want to weave?
Show me the mark you want to leave.
Paint me a memory
that feels
like ease.